Digging in the Dirt
This time my intuition is to stay put but my mind likes to spin around options and play different scenarios. As a child I was always chided for daydreaming but I think daydreaming is not quite it. When I dream it feels as if it comes from a more subconscious place whereas my daytime awake musings are more me imagining the stories in the world around me. For example, in elementary school I would notice that my teacher would wear the same shoes every day and I would wonder does she only have one pair of shoes, or maybe she has several of the same pair. I will see her closet in my mind and a row of exactly the same shoes. I would wonder why and think maybe this makes her feel less stress, not having to choose which shoe to wear. Or perhaps she has a foot problem which only allows her to wear a certain type of shoe. Then my teacher sees me staring out the window and says Susanne, please come back to the present. This is not a dream intruding into my mind but my own curiosity and imaginings. I guess I am interested in the why's of people. My mind doesn't think as an engineer or mechanic. I am not interested in how a thing works but how a person works. I am more curious about why someone is compelled to invent a thing, than I am in what they invented.
It's possible that my wanting to know why people do what they do came from the fact that my own family wasn't big on sharing information. They kept things close to the vest. This silence caused me to try to intuit what was going on. The desire to understand was born out of fear; because when something did finally reveal itself I was dumbfounded and ridiculed for not knowing. So knowing what was going on underneath the surface became vital to me. My family didn't understand my need to know and often felt that I shared too much so maybe that is why I now write a blog that shares everything haha! It also makes sense that I am interested in what makes people tick because I often felt lost in my own family and the secrets.
I probably should have studied to be a therapist but real estate is a better fit for me. I love exploring how people live and helping them figure out the best place to plant themselves so they can flourish. Or how to let go of a place that is holding them back so they can plant themselves anew. Where we live is the soil out of which we grow and it must have the perfect blend of nutrients for our particular journey in life. If the soil has become depleted we will flounder. So the reason we are desiring change is of the utmost importance. Just as roses don't require the same soil as, lets say grass, you don't have the same needs as anyone else. I have so many clients who give me a list of must haves for the home they think they want to buy who then choose something without any of those "must" haves. My job is to pay attention to the unspoken and often more important "must" haves.
My own constant moving around came from this desire to plant myself. So I would look at I where others were flourishing and thought I just need to plant myself in a similar soil and pot I will grow, but I didn't realize that I am my own seed with its own particular needs. Perhaps I need more shade or more water than another. Or maybe I like sandy soil and lots of nutrients. For a long time I didn't consider what type of seed I was so I kept uprooting myself trying to fit into different pots. While I did learn many things by changing my environment, I also learned there is never one perfect pot with just the right amount of everything because life is always changing. So this time I have found a place with enough of the right elements for my type of seed and I can add the nutrients I need, or water. I can add a bit more or a bit less over time. Only I know what is the right amount of sunshine for me to flourish. If each of us can learn to tend to our own garden our fragrance will enhance all who stroll by.
